Tag Archives: hard work

Living BOLDLY and fearlessly (while being smart about it)

 

I’m honored to have one of my articles published in the June 2014 inaugural issue of BOLD Favor magazine, a publication highlighting people, organizations, and causes that inspire people to live boldly and fearlessly. I’d like to share the article with you, my wonderful readers, in its entirety.

 

The founder and editor-in-chief of BOLD Favor, Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell, is an impressive young lady who is a published author, CPA, attorney, speaker, and leader in her community. I always tell her that she is going to be another Oprah in a few years, so I plan to stay on her good side so I can borrow—no, have—a few million bucks from her one day. So when she asked me to submit an article related to living boldly, I was very happy to do so.

 

When I first thought about living boldly, I considered the time I stepped out of my comfort zone to ski on a steep slope (a mountain slope in the Austrian Alps, of all places), even though I had never touched a ski in my life. After two short lessons, I went up to the top of a hill and tried to practice making turns. Instead, I shot downhill like a bullet, straight toward death or serious injury in the form of a massive concrete support column. The other skiers spotted me as an obvious newbie and decided to move out of my path. I heard the ski instructor yelling for me to turn, but my leg wouldn’t listen. As I got within 20 feet of slamming into that column, I shifted my weight so hard that I executed a perfect 90-degree left turn at the last second. I drifted away with a new lease on life and a promise to start going to church more, as my buddy gave me that smirking “you-know-you-almost-killed-yourself-don’t you?” look.

 

BEFORE: Living boldly and fearlessly on the ski slopes

BEFORE: Ready to live boldly and fearlessly on the ski slopes

 

How I lived boldly and fearlessly on the ski slopes

AFTER: How living boldly and fearlessly on the ski slope worked out for me

 

While that was certainly living boldly, it was also a bit stupid to try skiing in that environment, especially one where most people didn’t even speak English and I didn’t know the German words for ‘hospital’ or ‘last will and testament’. I didn’t want to inspire someone to risk his or her life, so I decided to write about safer ways to live boldly.

Enjoy the article and check out the magazine!

 


 

Pushing BOLDLY Through Fear & Past Procrastination

Reprinted from June 2014 issue of BOLD Favor magazine

by James Reid

 

Taking a leap of faith

Leaping out of the comfort zone (which is safer than skiing)

 

To me, living boldly is stepping out of your comfort zone and changing your life. Everything starts with that first step.

Most people never take that step because of fear. Fear of being a failure. Fear of uncertainty. Fear of being ridiculed or of being uncomfortable.

I had those fears when it came to my writing. I love to write. I daydream about being a famous author. And I procrastinated—for years—in writing my first novel. It isn’t good enough yet, I told myself. I never learned how to do this. What if people laugh at me and say my book is garbage? Especially after I spent all these years on it?

If you are thinking like this about your own dream, stop it.

I used to volunteer and spend time talking to elderly people with no family. They appreciated the company. And while the conversations were pleasant, all of them expressed the same regret: they wished they’d taken a chance on doing something they loved. They said they made dozens of excuses for their inaction; they were too busy, kids got in the way, etc. They warned me not to make the same mistake because life sneaks up quickly. The situation and timing for living boldly will never be perfect. The best time is always now.

So for me, the fear of having critics rip my book wasn’t as strong as the fear of getting old and looking back on my life, wishing I had taken a chance to achieve great things. How about you? What do you fear most? Failure? Or regret?

I have a feeling you want to change your life and make that big step! As you live boldly, I’ll share some things I’m learning as I go along in my career:

  • Haters will come. They’re always going to be there, so forget them. I fretted about them until someone reminded me that even the Bible has detractors. So if some people have problems with the best-selling book in history, how can I expect my book to emerge unscathed? You’ll never get everyone to like you. Focus on your supporters instead.

 

  • Forget about making mistakes. In fact, use corporate puffery and call them learning opportunities. You’ll have plenty of them, especially when starting any venture. Of course, you should try learning from other people’s mistakes rather than your own, but it’s still unavoidable. Just learn from them. I’ve learned more of what not to do than what to do in this early stage of my writing career.

 

  • Aim high. You’ll need to, because people will always be pulling you back down with them. For example, writers groups can be depressing. We’re constantly told we have a better chance of hitting the lottery than of getting an agent and making money, blah blah blah. Yes, the odds are astronomical. I experience them every day. Living boldly means you will, too. So you need to be a realist.

 

But don’t confuse realism with pessimism. Pessimism is naysaying, with no thought of positive outcomes or solutions. A realist understands the risks and troubles, but plans to overcome them. It’s true that most writers make little money. Yet, James Patterson made $94 million in one year. So somebody is making money by writing. Will I get there? Who knows? Most of us won’t reach that level (if money is your measure of success). But he started at zero like everyone else. Aiming high and believing you can get there is living boldly. It’s difficult, but not impossible.

 

  • Be patient. I struggle with this myself. But unless you’re lucky, success won’t come fast. However, people expect everything to move quickly these days, so they’ll question you and doubt you, wondering why it hasn’t happened for you yet. Just keep at it. Big things have small beginnings. That first step is the hardest. Once you get going, you start rolling.

It took me ten years to complete and publish my book. People always wonder why I didn’t give up. It never crossed my mind. I love writing stories and I still hold on to that dream.

If you take that bold step to change your life and do what you love, giving up won’t be an option for you, either!

Oprah, Oprah, where are thou?

Man, I love my friends, family, and readers. They are very supportive. Since I’m like every other author out there, struggling to build awareness, they think Oprah is the answer to all of my problems.

They feel I’m just one phone call away from stardom. One phone call from Oprah to highlight my book before I start signing movie deals and counting huge amounts of cash. When I tell them that there are a million books published each year, and other authors hear the same things, they pooh-pooh my realism and tell me to think positively.

But Oprah still hasn’t called yet. No invite to her show. No multimillion dollar contract. She hasn’t magically sensed my novel on the market and felt a strong compulsion to fulfill my dreams of fame and fortune. What’s her problem?

My friends and readers say “Send your book to her! She’ll read it. You never know!”

I try not to chuckle when I hear that. Oprah must have warehouses full of unrequested books that people throw her way. Besides, I’ve never known her to highlight my genre, which is murder mystery. If I’m putting all my hopes into a magical discovery that happens all of a sudden, I’ll probably be disappointed.

We live in a culture that highlights those who reach the pinnacle of success or luck. From the Powerball lottery winners to the young woman who wins American Idol, we’re inundated with these stories. Yet, they are just one in a million. Maybe one in several hundred million. However, people see these folks and believe that anyone can do it, too.

What we don’t see are the people who work hard and keep striving despite seeing any visible signs of progress. We don’t see the little things they have to stick to, day in and day out, to reach their goals. So we get lulled into that belief that we can get those miracle finishes without much difficulty.

Promoting a book certainly falls in the ‘difficult’ category, especially when I don’t have $3,000 a month to spend on promotion. Yes, several PR companies specializing in book promotion quoted a price of over three grand per month to promote my book. Maybe if I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t need to worry about promoting my book to increase sales. So when my optimistic friends and readers tell me to call Oprah, I smile, say ‘sure!’, and keep it moving. Like most authors out there, I have to do this the hard way.

That’s not to say I won’t break Olympic records running to my phone if Oprah’s name pops up on my caller ID. I just won’t expect it to be that easy. I need to keep things simple and start with easier tasks before I get that invite to Chicago. Like writing five or six bestsellers first. Easy enough, right?

Then I won’t have to worry about Oprah and get upset because she hasn’t called me yet…

(yes, borrowed from Dave Chappelle and Comedy Central)