Tag Archives: book festival

Always Misunderstood — the Life of an Introvert

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Thinker

I’m an introvert. This is probably why I enjoy writing. Only someone comfortable with being alone can spend hours brainstorming, researching, and drawing up plots and sub-plots for crime fiction novels—while not becoming mentally exhausted. Unfortunately, being an introvert also means being misunderstood all the time.

If you’re an introvert, then you already know about being misunderstood. Being misunderstood is a way of life for us. We’re accused of being stuck up, aloof, or unfriendly. Usually, we’re just the opposite.

Everybody understands extroverts. Just get them around people, invite them to parties, and let them talk about themselves. They’ll be happy. In our society, extroversion is the preferred trait.

Introverts are constantly encouraged to be extroverted. We’re prodded to mix and mingle, to smile and be engaging, and to get out there and dance all night long. We’re urged to show we’re not wallflowers and that we can enjoy life as those normal, outgoing people do. And I guarantee every introvert has heard this at almost every party—“What? You’re leaving already? You just got here! Can’t hang?” It could be 3am and we’ll have been at that party for hours. But we’ll still hear that mess and be labeled party-poopers. Sometimes, it makes me want to channel my inner Samuel L. Jackson, but I refrain. After all, I don’t want to end up on Do-Not-Invite lists.

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For years, I felt like something was wrong with me as I struggled to fit into a constantly outgoing lifestyle—until I realized that the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is simply how we get our energy. Introverts are givers of energy. Being around people drains us, so we recharge by being alone. Extroverts recharge by being around people. One could say that they are like vampires, sucking energy from others. That’s why introverts can only stay at parties for so long. Being drained all night by other people leaves us depleted.

Lots of people don’t understand this simple difference, which is why we’re always misunderstood. So if you’re an extrovert, let’s clear up some misconceptions you may have about us weird introverts:

We do like people

  • We just don’t like being around them 24/7. We need breaks once in a while.

When we want to be alone, that’s usually all it means

  • Just because we want to be alone doesn’t mean we’re upset with you. We just need to recharge our batteries. Especially when we come home after work. We’ve been getting drained all day.

We aren’t shy or timid

  • We have no problem telling you what we think. Especially if some of you hardcore extroverts can stop talking long enough to let us get a word in.

We aren’t boring

  • We like skiing, zip-lining, scuba-diving, and other fun things. We even like parties. But when it’s after 2am and we’ve been at it for hours, we’re going to ignore your pleas to check out that other party on the opposite side of the city just to see if it’s still ‘jumping’. We’ve got a home to get to.

We aren’t arrogant or stuck-up

  • Chances are, when you meet someone acting standoff-ish, the person probably isn’t intending to appear that way. He’s just in his own world.
  • I’m accused of being arrogant all the time because I may not greet people when we approach. It’s not intentional. Usually, I’m deep in thought about something. I may be preoccupied with a situation on the job. I may have spotted some weird-looking dude nearby and I’m wondering how to incorporate his traits into a character in my novel. I may not even notice someone trying to get my attention, and if I do, I may not remember to smile and say hello (yes, I actually have to tell myself to do those things when meeting strangers because it doesn’t come naturally to me). But if I’m aware of my behavior and concentrate on being sociable, I can be as engaging as anyone. Just don’t expect me to do it for long. I only have so much energy to give.

Of course, I envy extroverts at times. While I can easily isolate myself and write for hours, I wish I could sustain that energy level when promoting my book. Meeting strangers and striking up conversations is taxing. For example, I can go to a book festival and work the crowd for about four hours, max. I’ll have fun doing it, but I’ll be so drained that I’ll need to be alone the rest of the afternoon to recover.

I’ve gotten better at managing my energy levels, though. If you’re an introvert who needs to mix and mingle with the crowd (particularly you writers who hate promoting your books), make sure you have plenty of personal time beforehand and consider gulping an energy drink (5-hour-Energy, coffee) or eating whole fruit a couple of hours into your social events. It will give you enough energy to share with others for at least a few hours. That way, you’ll avoid having to recharge by retreating into your personal shell and being misunderstood by everyone you meet.

For you fellow introverts out there, what are some ways you prepare for your big social events?

I’ve got 99 problems…and book publicity is one of them

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Being a writer is rewarding, exhausting, and sobering. Particularly if you’ve recently published your first book and are trying to make a name for yourself. That means you get to experience the wonderful world of book promotion. You get to try a million suggestions (which everyone will have) to find those fleeting moments of joy when you get a positive review or sell a book. You get to learn what works and what doesn’t. And as I go through these growing pains, I’m happy to share the lessons I learn with you.

 

In my ongoing quest for book publicity, I participated in the 2014 Dallas Book Festival a few days ago and purchased an author booth. It was my first time being an author at a festival, so I was hyped! I had my table set up, my books and marketing materials stacked neatly, and a gatorboard poster of my book cover displayed. I was ready to sell millions of books!

 

I fell a bit short of that goal. I sold THREE books (and I thank those wonderful readers who bought them). In fact, those three might have qualified as one of the top sellers at that festival. All famous authors had to start somewhere, right? I guess I’m moving in the right direction.

One of the great readers who helped me make enough money to pay for parking

One of the great readers who helped me make enough money to pay for parking

 

In addition to earning enough to buy three-quarters of a tank of gas, I learned some things that might have me better prepared for my next festival. If you plan to sell books at a festival to create publicity, maybe this will help you as well.

 

Understand the venue

If you want to meet local readers and support your community, a small festival is great. If you don’t care about all that and just want to sell lots of books, you’ll need a bigger one. The Dallas Festival was small and it wasn’t promoted very well. The author section was on the 2nd floor of a library, away from ground floor traffic, and with space for about ten or twelve tables. Some people on the first floor didn’t even know we were up there. Meanwhile, the bigger festivals can accommodate well over a hundred authors and they have promotional budgets to spread the word. Of course, the registration fees can be several hundred dollars (versus the $40 for Dallas), so you get what you pay for.

 

Hold reasonable expectations

One author at the Dallas festival had traveled from another country to participate. He didn’t sell one book. So unless you have lots of book-buying friends, you’re a well-known author, or you’ve got one of the big publishing houses advertising you, don’t expect to recoup your expenses for events like these. In fact, don’t even bother wasting time calculating how many sold books you need to offset the cost of traveling, registration fees, shipping books back and forth, etc. You won’t see a return on that money for a long time. Just think of it as building awareness for future books. At least most of it is tax-deductible.

 

Stand frequently and greet everyone

Don’t sit at your table all day. Stand up for a while. Greet people. This makes you approachable, making it easier to sell your book. On the flip side, you have to learn when to cut off certain people. Practice excusing yourself tactfully, because you’ll run across people who just want to talk all day. You’d think otherwise, considering it’s a book festival, but some attendees will have no intention of buying books. They are there to people-watch and talk. At the Dallas festival, I seemingly attracted people who stood at my table for what seemed like hours, telling me unsolicited details about things like their marriage and sex life. They didn’t seem to catch on that I had no interest, nor did they seem to care that I was trying to greet people behind them–people who looked like they would actually buy a book.

 

(Public Service Announcement: if you are a reader attending a book festival, don’t monopolize the writer’s time when other people are trying to check out their booths. Especially if you aren’t buying anything! If you want to chat, grab their contact information and email or call them later. Or simply step aside while they introduce themselves to another guest, and continue the conversation when the coast is clear.)

 

All in all, the festival was a great learning experience. I had fun meeting other authors and swapping stories about our experiences and the strange people we met. I still have my 99 problems as I continue this journey, but I’m having fun doing it.

 

Maybe my 100th problem is that I’m crazy enough to keep doing this mess.